Tuesday, November 15, 2011

BREAKDOWN - Lord Knows
3:06 PM

BREAKDOWN - Lord Knows

...legible w/ led though I'm hard too follow

I know I'm a leader, but I'm letting you know this verse is going to be very difficult to keep up with..LED...FOLLOW

raise ya glass from quarter waters to arnold palmers
the weather's changing, so is my perception
...tryna perfect affection w/o protection

Love does not have borders. You cannot love wholeheartedly & protect yourself. Love causes you to leave yourself open & vulnerable to whoever or whatever it is that you love. Anything outside of that, is not love.

maybe i need direction, no arrows from cupid
no access to mapquest or google, i'm losing
i'm headed for confusion, before i hit that deadly crash
sometimes you gotta pray for things you already have

play on words...DIRECTION...ARROWS...MAPQUEST...GOOGLE...HEADED FOR CONFUSION...I need direction, but cannot rely on the love that has been taught to us (used Cupid/Mapquest/Google maps as an example) to be my guide. Only the love of Christ.

...playing hard to get w/ my future
but hi-fiving these losers,
spin myself in a stupor

play on words...Hi-Five had a song "She's Playing Hard To Get"...instead of accepting my destiny, I'm toying around with it, potentially diluting & preventing the fullness of what God has for me.

...never alone, but pride moves me to hide the help
reality its times i'm too busy living to die to self

play on words...MOVES ME...HIDE...LIVING...we spend too much time DOING things & not enough times just BEING who we were created to be. To die to self is a state of mind, there's not something you can DO to achieve that. But living takes work. So stop doing & start being.

lames search my twitter & they run back to my girl
as if every @ is a fact i'm flirting
what a dirtbag

self explanatory...

love is a choice, marriage is a decision
sacrifice is essential, & feelings are a religion

We always equate love & marriage to how we feel. Our feelings flee from us all the time. You ever just WAKE UP & be in a bad mood? When absolutely nothing happened to you? So then why do we apply that to relationships? Some days I'm going to wake up & not feel like being in love, or being married. But it is a choice that I made. In order for that choice to succeed, sacrificing who I am is essential. When two become one, there are some things that just can't fit. That goes beyond "not staying out late" & "cutting off partners"...mindsets have to change to in order to co-exist.

Feelings are a religion, anything that you are a slave to is a religion. Too often we "follow our heart" & "go with our gut" & wonder why things fall apart...

listen...she said she was ready to serve God
push her life to the side & for the mark
i'm thinking smart
...so i thought to sew a thought into her fabric
but she was closed minded, not tailor made for marriage
once the conversations were more about God & less about her
she stopped coming to church
whats the (difference)
tween a pastor manipulating for money
& manipulating God for a husband?

This is something I see way too often, I just happened to use a woman wanting a husband as an example. People will seek God for something to fulfill them, when He is the fulfillment. No man, no child, no amount of money, can fill the voids that life creates for us all. And then we get mad at God when He didn't do what we expected Him to do, when it wasn't His will all along. Never works.

appreciate life, sometimes i fail to see
dreaming is a drug as result i'm pushing that heavy d
conformation to avoid coming of age
...i pray to avoid becoming the prey

"Conformation" is the imparting of the Gift of the Holy Spirit. since the Holy Spirit gives us eternal life, I used that as an example of seeking Christ to avoid death...Coming of Age is the transition of a boy to a man...if the Bible says we are to have child-like faith, I don't wanna be an adult in that aspect.

but at the same time, i ain't perfect i need correction
4am, sending sleepy texts to sleazy exes
...someone accepting me for me is hard to fathom
convincing myself i don't deserve it so don't bother asking
hate when ppl only hit me when they want something
...now i know how God feels
...that's braille like, show em my tail pipe
prayer life's stairway to heaven on a rail slide

play on words...HIT ME...GOD FEELS...BRAILLE...to know how "God feels" is braille like. When a person has to read braille, it is because they've lost sight & must have faith in their other senses to get through life. Faith through Christ relies totally on who He is & not what we see. & because Jesus was able to feel what we felt while on earth, He can relate to us...SHOW EM MY TAIL PIPE...act a fool, act a donkey, wild out. Being in my flesh causes me to constantly do wrong. But I only gave it half of a line because that should not be the focus. PRAYER LIFE'S A STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN ON A RAILSLIDE...skaters "slide down the rail" with their board. To slide down takes full concentration...the minute you stop focusing on maintaining balance, you fall. Same goes for your "prayer life"...

all these ideals i gotta knock to the side
God is the truth, but most what we know about him's a lie
had my (baby) out of wedlock, the 2nd one from my marriage
use my mind as my eyes & it's subliminally apparent
...i used to think they were punishment for my sins
but (why) would God kill joy w/ kids that i live for

Just an example of people placing God's "judgement" above His grace.

...had a dream i was ready to graduate
God was ready to promote me to the next level
but there was some things i had to take w/ me
but wasn't sure how to handle it
cuz issues w/ abandonment
its so easy to mention a million deal breakers
its so easy to embrace the things i feel that hate us

Ask somebody what they don't want in a relationship...then ask that person what they do want. I bet you the list of what they don't want trumps what they want...we have these hangups as people that ultimately mean NOTHING in the grand scheme of things.

...its hard to convince myself i'm a man
when i gotta borrow from pops to pay my electric bill
i understand that a dollar sign is apart of life
the problem lies when i buy the lie that it swallows mine

Cash doesn't rule everything around me, lol...and it is not my measuring stick of being a man

most of the things i identify with are bitter lies
...to live my life gotta kiss the sky & dismiss the time

God chose you knowing who you were, and what you would do...since God operates in eternity & time, & both of those things are slaves to Him, why do you think something you did would prevent you from experiencing His fullness?

...27 years, i earned my pain
politicians is itching to pitch that hermain cain

America is a control freak...she has disguised herself as freedom in order to trap & bind everyone in her path to do what she does, say what she says & believe what she believes. Herman Cain was simply an example of something getting pushed down our throats until we accept it as good.

20 something years i sat in jail, prepared for hell
...now all i need is a woman that'll let me fail
then rub my back & help me pick up the mess
though hiccups i pick up could disrupt the blessings

When I say let him fail...if you can prevent a potential disaster from occurring, then sure...by all means. But falling down is how a man learns to walk on his own two. And while he's learning, as his helpmate, encouraging him through the process is ESSENTIAL in his growth. There's not much worse than failing & that feeling that she's going to make you feel bad about it.

but i got my woman , she'll stick it out til the end
Though it seems we can't speak without her getting offended
Because of the things that I did, that caused her a lotta pain
The more I show her I've changed, the more she treats me the same
I'm saying...

When you see someone changing right before your eyes, sometimes it's extremely difficult not to take who they were into their future. Sometimes you have to be deliberate with your change so that those who need to see it are aware of it.

...all in all thats my baby tho
& cuz i love her i grin & bear it & brave the road

And while that person is learning to accept a new you, you must grace them AND yourself to get through to the next level.

...maybe the problem is i chase it
& when i use my hands then it prevents the organic

If God revealed to you your full purpose before it was time to fulfill it, you would begin to do things to "set yourself up" & end up ruining it. He has to set you up.

my son's getting taller, looking like his mama
sees Lupe on TV, starts asking for his father

My son thinks I look like Lupe Fiasco...and he knows I rap...blame the hair, lol

...i was convinced that i'd never be a part of him
thats my blood, cut from my cloth, them stains are hard to rinse

play on words...BLOOD...CUT...CLOTH...STAINS...HARD TO RINSE...your kids will exhibit your characteristics whether they live upstairs or a million miles away...it's ingrained into them to be a better you

those were boundaries, i set around me, i hopped the fence
pride was my drug, my vodka mixed w/ collodopins

Anything can be a drug...anything.

& if i'm fighting to hide it, then where does modest end?
but i could write forever, let me stop this pen