Monday, June 14, 2010

Father's Week Day One: Stuntin Like My Daddy
10:43 AM

Father's Week Day One: Stuntin Like My Daddy

As (some of) you know, this Sunday is Father's Day. The one day out of the year we let dad sit in his favorite recliner, give him the remote & let him eat the big piece of chicken. In today's society, our father's (& good men in general) are not championed or appreciated as much as they should. They're grouped together, generalized & stereotyped as lazy, passive & irresponsible. Let me say, that I do agree that there are a large percentage of PEOPLE (not just men) that inhabit those characteristics very well. But this week, I decided to take the time out to spotlight the male species; who are we? What makes us tick? What do we want? While I don't have all the answers, I do hope to provide a glimmer of insight into our dominion.

We all agree that women, more specifically mothers, are an integral part of our lives. They carry us around for 9 months, feed us & change our diapers. They are our very first example of what love looks like. However, there are some things that a woman just cannot do, and this is where a man comes in. Based off my personal experience, I would say that men provide children with their identity.

To a young boy, his father is an example of strength, responsibility & leadership. Men show you how to effectively wear different hats. How to discipline & be stern & still love; how to show affection without being perceived as feminine. How to be a balanced member of society. How to run his own household when he obtains one.

For a young lady, her father is the example of what she's to look for in a man. Her husband better treat her 100 times better than her father ever would. He creates & builds the level of respect she should have for herself. Women are moreso emotional & a man is that logical balance she so desperately needs. He is her first example of what a "rock" is. Unwavering in times of challenge & conflict.

But today, you see more & more of the vicious cycle that has seemed to grip millions of our men. More often than not, fathers are absent in the lives of their children. Some voluntarily leave; whether due to fear of responsibility or conflict with the mother. Some are forced out; the mother has either replaced a willing father with another man or she cuts him off, no phone calls, no contact. All the while holding the memory of their growing child over that man's head. At the end of the day, all we see is a single parent household & the father has the blame.

How a woman can say in one minute "I don't need you, I can do this by myself" & soon as the child begins act out she cries out "these children need their father" is beyond me. What this tells me is that the father is a strong adhesive in the family structure. He is the glue; the largest piece of the puzzle. How many young men turn to drugs, gangs, & womanizing to overcompensate for the lack of a father? How many young women become manipulative & promiscuous because their father never pulled them aside & showed them how to be a lady? And how many single women are walking around seeking a man without a clue as to what to look for because there has been no model present?

I'm not here to bash, and I really hope I'm not saying anything new to you. We all know that bad news & gossip travels much faster than good. And to say there isn't a level of truth in any of the presented accusations is a lie in itself. However, before we can attack a problem head on, we must admit that it indeed is an issue. So all this week I'll be showcasing different shades of fatherhood. The young boy raised by a single father, the womanizer who changed his life after the birth of his child, the single woman who was forced to become daddy & the ever so desired 2 parent home.

I welcome you to Father's Week...