Friday, August 26, 2011

Cuff Season: The #ShaqTextExperiment
1:43 PM

Cuff Season: The #ShaqTextExperiment

Intro- So it's been brought to my attention that the thirst is at an all-time high with cuff season right around the corner. It's still hot outside, but the sun is accompanied by a cool brisk breeze..letting us all know that the Fall is upon us. I love the Fall...its the dopest season for fashion, sports start back up (hurry up NBA), new TV shows premiere, kids back in school, etc. This morning i ran across another "Shaq's exposed texts" story...befuddled as to how the thirst/erroneous spelling combo worked so well

Click here to read the Shaq texts..NSFW...or the kiddies

Was he able to pull it off because it's Shaq? Did he & the woman have a well enough relationship for her to ignore his lack of grasp on the english language? (women overlook a LOT) Was she merely just a bird? So to get my answer, I took my talents to the wonderful world of SMS & conducted my own are the results...

NOTE: The women I ran this experiment w/ did NOT know I was joking prior to receiving the text

NOTE: every woman I ran the experiment on is attractive, but not stuck up, so they wouldn't say no to everything & they're not so desperate to say yes to anything. I also removed all evidence of names & phone numbers...cuz you don't need to know who they are...yes i'm blocking

Experiment 1- The initial text left her aghast!! She was taken back by the 1-2 combo of thirst & poor spelling. The 'lol' is always used as a slight defense. Ha ha, very funny Armond. FAIL.

Experiment 2- A true friend...she practiced the 5 Ds of dodgeball to avoid the thirst & attend to my well-being. She's obviously into writing, as she read the texts INSIDE the text to figure out the real problem. FAIL.

Experiment 3- Again, the 'LOL' pops up again, this time in upper case. This means her sure was serious, but just in case I respond with "just joking", the 'LOL' means "so was I"...but she really wasn't. Tread carefully. C-

Experiment 4- SUCCESS!!!!!! Immediate response. No games, no front. A+

Conclusion: Always have your text game 100% on point. A lot of us aren't 7 ft tall & one of the most recognizeable personalities in the world. Most of us have to pick & choose how many times a week we can have Five Guys for lunch. Make sure you proofread before you send. Don't be too thirsty, but don't be too scared either.Happy thirsting & Godspeed...